Kids Are Too Demanding

We Need To Start Teaching Kids The Value and Meaning of The Little Things Before It’s Too Late

“Mommy I want a cell phone”,  “Mommy I want a DS”, “Mommy I want a DSI”, “Mommy I want a kindle”, “Mommy I want a laptop.”

Seriously?  I had my first cell phone and laptop when I was 20, and I had to pay for them myself.

I love technology don’t get me wrong but we are creating “little spoiled monsters” by skipping all the cool traditional toys we had as kids… the toys that allowed our imagination to go wild and be creative. Now kids can’t be creative or tell a story unless there’s a piece of technology involved.

Do you remember the Fisher Price Chatter Telephone? I had one and I loved that thing… Did you have one? I had so much fun with mine. I used my imagination and pretended to “call people.”  The phone was my buddy. I thought he was the cutest thing and I took him everywhere with me. He had the cutest blue eyes that rolled up and down as I pulled him along the house.

I bought one for my kids but it didn’t have the same impact, they played with it for about 5 minutes and moved on to the next thing.  Technology, of course, because the phone was “too boring” according to them.

For Christmas, my Best Friend told my kids he had presents for them. The kids were extremely excited… but then when he handed each one of them a kite they had a funny look on their face. (Grandparents and family have spoiled my kids. They have always given them expensive toys and technology.)  As my Best Friend was handing them the kites he said: “You know guys it was hard to figure out what to buy for kids that already have everything. So I thought flying a kite will be fun to do. We can play outside together, that will be fun.” Their eyes lit up and they got very excited and said: “That’s so cool, we never did that. That will be fun.”

It was at that moment that I realized technology is not the one to blame. We are. The parents.  Just because the world of technology is moving at a fast pace every day doesn’t mean we should skip the cool traditional toys like the Fisher Price Chatter Telephone, the puzzles… the kite!!!

According to Market researcher NPD Group “Action figure sales are down 11 per cent, games and puzzles fell 16 per cent, and plush toys plummeted 19 per cent. This weakness comes as the popularity of tablets and smart phones ensure a non-stop flood of digital games, which are doing big business at even $1 a pop."

“There are more changes going on in the industry now than in the past 10 years combined – it’s very dramatic,” said Anton Rabie, co-founder of Spin Master.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/as-children-pine-for-electronics-traditional-toy-makers-face-a-growing-tech-challenge/article5621174/

Just out of curiosity I did a Google search for “Top Toys” “Hottest Toys” and “Kids Gift Ideas.” Here’s what was on the list: iPad, Kindle, Wow Wee Robosapien Humanoid Robot with Remote Control, LCD Writing Tablet, Leapfrog Scribble and Write device.

Why aren't there kites, tops and my favorite Fisher Price Chatter Telephone on that list? 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_traditional_children's_games

What was your favorite toy and have you bought it for your child?  

Kids Today Don’t Know How To Play Outside!

Preparing to take the plunge.

It was a Fall day and it was beautiful outside. I looked around and the kids were on the XBOX and WII. I love technology myself, but when I was a kid I was always outside. I wanted my kids outside, so I turned everything off and told them to “go outside and play, go get dirty, play with the cars, make dirt roads, play with the dolls…go, go!”

It was hilarious and ridiculous at the same time…HaHa… They went outside and stood still for about 2 minutes, it was so funny, they didn’t know what to do and kept saying: “Mommy, this is boring, there is nothing to do.” I called my mom in Portugal laughing. “Mom, my kids don’t know how to play outside” I was shocked! I realized my kids don’t know how to play outside. Sounds ridiculous!!! It is ridiculous!!!

Ballston Spa Winter Festival

About a month ago I was telling my story to a couple and they told me their son is addicted to the XBOX and doesn’t play outside. They told me he doesn’t even know how to ride a bike and he’s 10. Wow! That was even more shocking!!!

How can a kid not know how to ride a bike? That’s all I did when I was a kid, be outside riding my bike and playing with my imagination.  I spent all day outside. I walked to school then back home. Then after homework, I would ride my bike and play outside till it was time for dinner.

Kids don’t know how to be kids anymore!!!  According to The Last Child in The Woods, by Richard Louv, the average child consumes 6 hours of screen time daily. Our kids are the first generation of kids raised on screens.
http://richardlouv.com/books/last-child/

According to a new study published in the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine, parents just aren't taking their kids, especially young girls, outdoors to participate in physical activities.

The study looked at 8,950 children and researchers asked their parents to report their child's outdoor playtime. Researchers discovered only 51 percent of children went outside to walk or play once a day with either parent.

Boys were also more likely to be taken outside than girls: Preschool girls were 16 percent less likely to be taken outdoors.

I think this is one of the reasons why there are more kids being diagnosed with ADD and ADHD. If the kids aren’t outside what are they supposed to do with all this energy stored inside their little bodies. It has to come out at some point... Let’s be realistic.

When I was teaching 90 percent of the kids I had in the classroom were on anti-depressants. I couldn’t understand why because they had no “adult responsibilities”  “How can they be depressed?” I thought. But it all makes sense now.

According to research done at The University of Rochester… students who spent just 20 minutes a day outside felt more energetic than those who didn’t … because sunlight triggers your brain to release serotonin, which helps to boost your mood and energy levels. http://www.nowloss.com/How-to-get-more-energy-naturally.htm

The reasons kids are indoors more today primarily has to do with fear. Fear of abduction, fear of being hit by a car, fear of sunburns, poison oak, ticks, snakes, and on, and on, and on. Thirty years ago parents sent their kids outside to get them out of their hair, today we give them a screen to keep them quiet. Have you noticed it’s actually more work then sending them outside.

When kids are outside they are much calmer, much more talkative and much happier.

How much time does your child spend outside? 

The Magic of Family Mealtime

The other day I had a friend over for dinner; our guest thought because I have 3 little kids we were going to sit in the living room and watch TV while eating dinner.  I explained that in my house we always sit at the dinning room table. TV is off and no phones answered! It’s our bonding moment and can make for the best memories that can last a lifetime.

This was a tradition in my parents’ home and I will continue it in my home for as long as I can.  When I became a single parent I swore that I would keep the tradition alive no matter what.  It was weird at first, there was no adult to talk to, and the kids and I kept looking at that empty seat.  I wanted to keep the tradition alive but I didn’t want it to be a sad, painful moment for my kids and I, so I used to set an extra plate just to pretend that seat wasn’t empty and that daddy was just running late. Eventually, we got used to it and that extra plate was no longer needed. That’s where I put the flowers now.

For dinner, I always set the dinning room table, for breakfast we eat in the kitchen. Sometimes I let them help me prepare the meal or simply set the table. We all sit down at the same time and no one is allowed to get up until everyone is done and “you have to ask mommy to be excused.”  Once everyone is served we all get a chance to talk about our day.  We also talk about table manners, including what to do about food they don’t like (“Eat it anyway”) Then I share my dinner memories of when I was a kid. NO TOYS ALLOWED at the table.

Many say it’s impossible to do this everyday because of after-school activities, late workdays, and long commutes. I have experienced every single one of these and I have always managed to have my family sit down at the dinning room table for dinner. If you want it, you will make it happen no matter what. It’s about priorities and values.

Research is beginning to show that eating as a family has great benefits for your children and teenagers.

"One of the simplest and most effective ways for parents to be engaged in their teens' lives is by having frequent family dinners," says Joseph Califano Jr., chairman and president of The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA).

CASA recently reported on a national phone survey of 1,000 teens and 829 parents of teens. Eating dinner as a family helped kids in many ways. It helped them get better grades, and kept them away from cigarettes, alcohol, and marijuana, and more.

Researchers have found all kinds of intriguing educational and ethnic patterns. The families with the least educated parents, for example, eat together the most; parents with less than a high school education share more meals with their kids than do parents with high school diplomas or college degrees. That may end up acting as a generational corrective; kids who eat most often with their parents are 40% more likely to say they get mainly A's and B's in school than kids who have two or fewer family dinners a week. Foreign-born kids are much more likely to eat with their parents. When researchers looked at ethnic and racial breakdowns, they found that more than half of Hispanic teens ate with a parent at least six times a week, in contrast to 40% of black teens and 39% of whites.

Here are 8 reasons why you should try to sit down together 5-6 times a week, whether for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Reason #1: Communication and Well-Being

Conversations during the meal provide opportunities for the family to bond, plan, connect, and learn from one another. It’s a chance to share information and news of the day, as well as give extra attention to your children and teens.

Reason #2: Model Manners (and more)

Family mealtime is the perfect opportunity to display appropriate table manners, meal etiquette, and social skills. Keep the mood light, relaxed, and loving.

Reason # 3: Expand Their World…One Food at a Time

Encourage your children to try new foods, without forcing, coercing, or bribing. Introduce a new food along with some of the stand-by favorites. Remember that it can take 8-10 exposures to a new food before it is accepted, so be patient.

Reason #4: Nourish

Meals prepared and eaten at home are usually more nutritious and healthy.

Reason #5: Become Self-Sufficient

Children today are missing out on the importance of knowing how to plan and prepare meals. Basic cooking, baking, and food preparation are necessities for being self-sufficient. Preschoolers can tear lettuce, cut bananas, and set the table. Older children can pour milk, peel vegetables, and mix batter. Teenagers can dice, chop, bake, and grill.

Reason #6: Prevent Destructive Behaviors

Research shows that frequent family dinners (five or more a week), are associated with lower rates of smoking, drinking, and illegal drug use in pre-teens and teenagers when compared to families that eat together two or fewer times per week. Even as older children’s schedules get more complicated, it is important to make an effort to eat meals together. Scheduling is a must.

Reason #7: Improve Grades

Children do better in school when they eat more meals with their parents and family. Teenagers who eat dinner four or more times per week with their families have higher academic performance compared with teenagers who eat with their families two or fewer times per week.

Reason # 8: Save Money

Meals purchased away from home cost two to four times more than meals prepared at home.

Research on family meals does not explore whether it makes a difference if dinner is with two parents or one or even whether the meal needs to be dinner. For families whose schedules make evenings together a challenge, breakfast or lunch may have the same value.

Are you able to have a family meal everyday?

Leave The Kids Out of It!

Don’t ignore this blog entry just because you think this doesn't apply to you. I never thought it would apply to me either and the thought never even crossed my mind, but on July 28th I became a single parent without even asking for it. Was left without notice; without an explanation. I was left alone with three children just like that.

Be prepared, no matter what your current situation is.

Statistics show that Nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In the United States alone, one million children are affected by their parents’ divorce every single year.

The worst thing that you can do is put your children in the middle. Leave The Kids Out of It ! This is a very difficult emotional rollercoaster for an adult to deal with never mind a little person.

When you are an adult no matter how painful it is for you, you can always recover, you are an adult. It will take some time but you will be able to turn things around. The little people on the other hand, they will be damaged for the rest of their lives if you throw them in the middle.

When this happened to me I lost 15 pounds in 7 days. I ended up in the hospital. I couldn’t eat or drink. I was in shock and the pain was unbearable. I didn’t know what to tell my kids. I was hurt, they were hurt. I tried to hide my emotions but I couldn't, the pain was too big.

I got help. I signed my kids up for therapy. She was not only helping my kids deal with the situation but she was helping me protect my children. She told me what to do and what not to do; what to say and what not to say to my children about what was happening.

For children, divorce does not have a beginning, middle, and an end. It is a process. The process and the adjustments continue as children age. For children, divorce is an abrupt and scary end to “normal.” It is also the start of a new kind of family- two homes.

What can parents to do help their children through this difficult family transition? Here’s what I was taught and it really works if you stick to these “don’t” and “do’s” list:

DON'T...

Assess blame. Children shouldn't be taking sides.

Talk negatively about the other parent.

Overburden your children with emotional or financial concerns.

Use children as message carriers to the other parent.

Make your child your confidant - remain the adult and parent.

Allow your children to put themselves in the middle of adult conflicts.

Discourage your child's desire to have a relationship with the other parent or step-parent.

DO...

Allow children to openly express their own feelings.

Listen to your children and validate their feelings.

Let children know about changes such as visitation, moving, new school, etc.

Reassure your children that the divorce was not their fault.

Emphasize the finality of the divorce.

Spend quality time with each child.

Be consistent with rules, expectations and discipline.

Protect your child from parental conflict.

Provide a safe and stable environment.

In order to Leave The Kids Out of It… We parents need to set aside our personal issues and focus on the best interests of the children.

For some parents, these discussions are easily done alone or with the help of a mediator or counselor. For others, the discussions are difficult and made more so by unresolved anger, blame or grief and require intensive assistance from mental health professionals.

The prospect of a good life and healthy relationships for children of divorce are made better by the efforts of their parents. It can be done. Divorce hurts, but we can do much to ensure a bright future for our children.

A SPECIAL TOUCH AT THANKSGIVING.

This year my kids and I added a special touch to our Thanksgiving table.

When I was setting up the table I realized I still had the cloth napkins in the laundry basket (we did a rehearsal Thanksgiving Dinner last week) so the napkins were all wrinkled.

I had to use paper napkins. I hated it because they look so cheap and cheesy especially when you are using expensive china from Europe. I needed to do something to

make those paper napkins look a little more exciting.

That’s when I came up with the idea of making a turkey napkin holder. I grabbed the construction paper and scissors and started cutting. I needed seven so I started making an assembly line.

It was really easy and it probably took me a total of 15 minutes to make all seven.

Here’s what you need:

Construction paper (orange, pink, brown, red, yellow)

Staples and a stapler

Black marker (to draw the eyes)

Check out the picture that I posted along with this blog so you can see what I cut out. It’s really easy and they’re a hit.

My son wrote the name of each person on the turkey. It ended up being a place card as well and then at the end of the party grandma and grandpa took them home as a souvenir. They loved it too.

MONEY! MONEY! HELPS WITH MATH SKILLS.

I have bought my kids “play money” several times but as you know toys now a days don’t last very long in a home. It has nothing to do with the way they are made… it has to do with the way kids play with them, they’ll either break them or get bored because there’s another toy that can replace that toy, and another toy, and another toy. Basically, there are too many!

Anyway, my kids love to play “store”, the other day they were playing store and they were pretending to have invisible money. I saw that and decided to surprise them.

I went and got some construction paper and made some play money for them. It was nothing fancy. (I knew it would end up in the garbage after they were done playing “store”. The point was for them to have fun.) I cut out some rectangles and wrote the numbers on the bills. I used different colors too.

They loved it!

Again it wasn’t fancy but it’s ok, it served its purpose and it didn’t cost me any money! Plus the kids had a blast playing with it.

Playing with play money will help kids master basic math skills. It helps kids learn how to count, add and subtract. They learn about the different denominations of paper bills, as well as how to use these to make purchases.

I didn't make coins... but you can also use the construction paper to make them.

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE COSTUME

Nicole wanted to be strawberry shortcake. The costumes I saw on the magazines were very cute but Nicole would freeze. That’s the problem with the majority of the costumes; they are cute but not really made for October weather. And if you are wearing a coat then what’s the purpose of having a costume on if no one can see it?!

I decided to make Nicole’s costume just like we did Jerry’s. I printed a picture of Strawberry shortcake and took it with me to the store to buy the materials.

And, let me point out… I am not a seamstress!!!

Figure out how much fabric to buy. I didn’t measure… I just guessed! Went to Joanne Fabrics and looked through the entire store for any fabric that had strawberries on it. I also bought a package of ½” wide elastic.

I had never made a skirt before!

Here’s what I did:

1- Fold the fabric short end to short end (unfinished end to unfinished end) with right sides together. I sewed them together. This seam goes down the back of the skirt.

2- Make the elastic waistband casing. Turn down the top edge of your skirt 1” and sew. (Do the same thing to the bottom edge of the skirt and sew.) Don’t forget to leave a 1” opening at the back seam to insert the elastic through.

3- Stretch the elastic and measure the waist. Cut it, and then attach a safety pin to the end of it. Thread the elastic through the waistband casing. Overlap the ends and then sew them together. Sew the opening in the casing shut.

The skirt was done… now I needed to do the shirt. Again I had never made a shirt before. Nicole is always cold when we go trick-or-treating so I decided to use both the polyester fleece for the main part of the shirt and for the arms I used the same material as the skirt.

So here’s what I did:

1- I went in Nicole’s closet and picked a shirt that fit her to use as my cutout pattern.

2- I folded the fabric in two pieces. Then I traced the shirt and then cut out the pattern piece. (I traced the sleeves separate then the chest and back because I used two different types of fabric)

3- Sew the chest and the back parts together. I used my sewing machine. When you sew make sure you do it inside out so you don’t see the sewing lines after.

4- Sew the arms to the shirt (I can’t really explain to you how I did it because I had to keep trying until I got it right. I got it wrong a couple of times.) (Next time I’ll do a video clip so you can see me doing it.)

5- Hem the bottom of the shirt.

6- I used elastic to make cuffs on her sleeves.

Once I finished the skirt and shirt I decided to add a strawberry to the shirt so it wouldn't look so plain.

I made the hat the same way that I made Jerry's Mario hat.